Here's a newspaper article theorizing what Mr. P would be doing today if he weren't, you know, dead: What would Elvis be doing today? Elvis went through many transformations during his career. From pop star and movie heartthrob to G.I. to king of the sparkly one-piece suit. If he had not died, where would he have ended up on his 70th birthday? Sunday, January 2, 2005 By Steve Metsch Staff writer ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Making TV commercials selling Cadillacs. Playing tough guys in movies directed by Quentin Tarantino. Living the clean life after a stint — or two — at the Betty Ford Clinic. And, of course, belting out those wonderful songs on tour or during a long stint in Las Vegas. That's what some folks think the King of Rock 'n' Roll would be doing had he lived to see his 70th birthday Saturday, thankyouverymuch. While some fans may believe he's still around, most of us realize Elvis Presley died in his bathroom Aug. 16, 1977. Still, we wonder what the King would be like had he lived. What if he had switched from gobbling down fried chicken and mashed potatoes smothered with gravy to snacking on carrots and celery while watching TV in the jungle room at Graceland? What if he had quit self-medicating with a pharmacy's supply of drugs? Could he walk the straight and narrow, or would old habits return? Risking the wrath of Elvis fans worldwide, Lin Brehmer, morning personality at WXRT-FM (93.1), said today's Elvis probably would weigh close to 400 pounds. "I've gotta believe his diet and personal grooming habits would not have led him to flat-bellied immortality," Brehmer said. "I think we're talking about the Marlon Brando of rock history, a legend who let his own legend consume him." But Brehmer thinks we'd all be watching TV Saturday night as Elvis took the stage after a decade as a recluse. "I see him as a special guest for his first public appearance in 10 years, singing favorites at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C.," Brehmer said. "But I don't think he'd be touring. No House of Blues. No United Center. No Park West," Brehmer said. Not so, say some Elvis impersonators and die-hard fans. A 70-year-old King would be singing around the world, they said. Oak Lawn resident Jeanne Kalweit, vice president of the Elvis Presley TCB Fan Club of Chicago, sees him with a regular gig in Las Vegas. "He'd be keeping up with every new innovation in music, but not hard rock," she said. "His fans were his life. When he was doing all the stupid movies, he really missed touring. And I don't think his ticket prices would be too high. Elvis was very aware that his fans were more or less blue-collar workers, so he'd keep his ticket prices lower," Kalweit said. With fans worldwide, Elvis would be one busy 70-year-old, Trent Carlini said. Carlini, originally from Chicago, lives in Las Vegas and is one of the nation's top Elvis impersonators. Finally free of his longtime manager, Colonel Tom Parker, Elvis would be able to tour overseas, Carlini said. Parker, fearing deportation as an alleged illegal alien, never allowed Elvis to tour overseas, he said. Former wife Priscilla Presley would now be Elvis' manager, Carlini said. Considering how well she managed Elvis' estate, Priscilla would bring Elvis a lucrative long-term contract in Las Vegas, Carlini said. "Barry Manilow just signed a contract that pays him $60 million for 30 weeks at the Las Vegas Hilton. What do you think Elvis would get for that?" he said. Seeing Elvis in person now would not be cheap, former Chicago radio personality Clark Weber said. "I think tickets to see Elvis would sell for $500, and he'd get it. Even I'd go to that show," Weber, 74, said. Weber doubts Elvis would tour, but thinks he'd write songs for country artists. "I'd like to think that Elvis would be seen like B.B. King, someone who had so much to do with early rock 'n' roll that he'd be revered and he'd be smart enough to sit back and enjoy the accolades I think he'd walk onto the Grand Ole Opry to thunderous applause," Weber said. Oak Lawn resident Carol Hopp, president of the Elvis That's the Way It Is Fan Club, said Elvis "would be shocked to see how many fans he had." "I would hope he'd still be singing because he still had that voice when he died. I don't think he'd tour — that's pretty hard to do — but I think he'd do a special concert here and there," Hopp said. "And he'd finally perform in England, Japan and other countries." And those fans would see a 70-year-old Elvis with jet-black hair, Brehmer said. Justice resident Bob West, an Elvis impersonator for 29 years, disagreed. "Elvis would have allowed his hair to go to its natural brown. It could be silver by now, like Vernon's was," West said of Elvis' late father. "Elvis would still look good. He was the type of person men and women find extremely attractive. If you look at the Greek gods or the Statute of Liberty, they have the same profile as Elvis. That's why so many people of so many nationalities identify with him." Would Elvis impersonators like Carlini and West, both performing next weekend, be out of work if the real King was still around? "More than ever, there'd be Elvis guys running around, but I think people would be more finicky about the quality," he said. Impersonators would have to keep up with Elvis, who "was always timely when it came to music," West said. "I see Elvis recording more country and gospel songs than rock these days," he said. "He'd also be helping (daughter) Lisa Marie with her music career." We'd probably be buying tickets to Elvis movies, but they wouldn't star him as a race car driver, inner-city doctor or any of those hokey characters he played in the 1960s. Brehmer thinks Tarantino would have called on Elvis for a quirky role, and the King would be busy "playing heavies" — no pun intended. Kalweit called Elvis "a natural" who "always wanted to do serious movies, so I think he'd be acting in those, too." "He was a natural actor, but the Colonel kept him in all those fluff movies," she said. Hopp thought Elvis "was a good actor, but didn't have a chance to show it much." "If you watch 'King Creole,' you can see his talent," Hopp said. Weber wondered whether Elvis would be as popular alive as he is dead. "When you think about it, he left us at almost his peak, and a lot of people still hold him in high regard. Maybe if he hung around longer, that wouldn't be the case," Weber said. Bob Sirott, another former Chicago DJ who now hosts "Chicago Tonight" on WTTW-TV (Channel 11), said Elvis would have used his celebrity status to land a TV job. "Elvis at 70 would just be retiring as the Andy Rooney of 'Dateline,'" Sirott said. Elvis, though, long ago left our world. But, Brehmer said, he's still surprised some company hasn't found a way to have him star in a modern commercial, a la Fred Astaire selling vacuums and Steve McQueen selling 2005 Mustangs. "They could have a big ol' Elvis, circa 1958, sitting in a Cadillac convertible, driving down the winding country roads of Tennessee," he said. "I'll buy stock in Cadillac if they make that commercial." home | new | the man | lisa marie | priscilla & others | fun | clothes | photos | records | movies | concerts | gifts | web | guide | e-cards | today | facts Click here for more info on the book The Girls' Guide to Elvis Click here to check out sister book The Girls' Guide to Country Click here to check out the latest sister book The Ultimate Guide to Chick Flicks